CASE HISTORY OF SISTER X

I am Sister X, a 66 year old woman who has lived in convents for thirty years and have suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) for six years, since 2002.

During my twenty-four year stay in my first convent, I was subjected by the other sisters to verbal abuse from day one and increasingly violent episodes of physical assault, culminating in a murder attempt in 1996.  My superior (a man, not living in the convent) not only refused to give me protection, but actually accused me of being violent.  When I tried to transfer to another convent belonging to the Order, I was refused, because the superior there (another man) did not wish to get involved in the political repercussions that he felt might ensue.  

Finally, in 2001 a second murder threat was made and I  threatened to call the police, for which I was asked to leave the convent, without money, anywhere to stay, or marketable skills.  Several senior women from my convent wrote unsolicited letters to the superior in the other convent, documenting that I was not violent and not at all responsible for what had happened.  The sisters in the other convent made strong, unsolicited representations to the superior that his duty was to allow meto join.  He reluctantly did so and I transferred to the other convent in early 2002.

The PTSD began as soon as I moved to the new convent, involving sleep disturbance, terrifying nightmares, and suppressed immune system producing recurrent infections, among other things.  After a year of medication I improved, but went through another PTSD attack when my first superior came to visit.  This time there were cardiac symptoms and panic attacks, urinary incontinence, etc.  Over time, the condition improved, but would return whenever there was a visit from anyone associated with my first convent.  My doctor assured me that I was making a lot of progress under my own steam and that, given time, the whole problem would subside.

In early 2005, after another bad attack of PTSD occasioned by yet another visit from my nemesis, I became very disgusted with the situation and decided to tackle the problem more proactively.  I went to four modalities of treatment, including a twelve step program, routine supportive psychotherapy, more intensive psychotherapy and finally vibrational therapy, where I learned a modified form of EMDR, Eye Movement Dissociation Therapy (EMDT) using acupressure and positive affirmations.  The therapist suggested that I work systematically through all of the traumas of my life, to clear out the psychological record.  This was done over a two-year period, with quite a degree of success, but not completely removing the symptoms, particularly the sleep disruption, which kept coming back.

I began to notice that from time to time there were blips on my screen which had nothing to do with any visit from people from my first convent.  My attacks were more clearly connected with any exposure to my new superior.  This was the man who had refused to take me in after the murder attempt in 1996 and had made it so difficult to join in 2001.  He had also told me on my first day in the new situation that he did not want to hear anything whatsoever about my experiences in the first convent, thereby washing his hands of responsibility for what had happened or the possibility of my clearing my name, which still remained associated with the idea that I am violent.

This became a long-term irritant, and by degrees I began to have rather acute attacks when exposed to my superior, including sleeplessness, anxiety dreams, panic attacks, joint and muscle pains, infections, and one episode of mysteriously falling quite badly when I unexpectedly met him on the street.   I became aware that he had become the trigger for my attacks, but strangely it never occurred to me to do EMDR work on my relationship with him.  Finally a close friend pointed out that I should do such work, but there was a disappointingly poor response.  

In the meantime another friend had suggested that I use my writing skills to document what had happened to me in my first convent and to offer an explanation of the psychology behind it.  I took up the work, feeling a responsibility to do whatever I could about the hideously dysfunctional situation in my first convent, but mysteriously ran into writers’ block shortly before meeting Dr. Benor, as well as a sense that I was not going to be able to clear my psyche of the deep-seated reactions I was having to my current superior.

At a professional meeting, Dr. Benor was demonstrating his WHEE method to a group, and determined from some preliminary work with the method that I was stuck quite badly in my now-becoming-chronic condition.  He therefore asked me if I was willing to divulge what my problem was and I told him and the group that I loathed and detested my superior (whom I regarded as a total moral coward), and that any exposure to him precipitated PTSD attacks.  Dr. Benor asked me to apply the WHEE method once again, but there was essentially not much change.  

Dr. Benor then had me use muscle testing to assess my determination to cure my PTSD and found that there was some ambivalence about so doing.  He asked me if I knew why I was resisting total cure.  It did not take me long to realize that I was holding on to my anger against my superiors (and, indeed, all members of the order) in order to fuel my attempts to write my exposé.  Dr. Benor again asked me whether I wanted my PTSD completely cured, and I, by now utterly fed up with the time being wasted by repeated attacks and realizing my own role in keeping it going, said yes.  Dr. Benor asked me if I thought that getting cured would prevent me from writing, to which the answer could only be that I could not answer that question until I had been cured, but I was more than willing to try.  The ongoing PTSD was a much worse alternative than not being able to write.

I then went through two more repetitions of WHEE and to my joy found that the triggering thought of my superior now had no effect on me.  Queried by Dr. Benor, I realized that there would be no problem in continuing with the writing; indeed, I could do it better because I no more had the physical link to the hidden anger, which had been causing the recent writers’ block, as such intense emotions were coming up in writing about certain episodes.  My feeling had turned more to pity for someone so morally feeble; but of course I would continue on with my book for the sake of the other women who were suffering so much and the need, for the welfare of the order, to expose the highly irregular shenanigans at my first convent.

My sleep has been normal since this episode and I intend to keep up the WHEE practice in order to keep the slate clear in the future.  I am contemplating a new approach to writing the book, which will jell after a number of experiments.  Many thanks to Dr. Benor.  

WHEE-MD Observations

Sister X is a very brave person, to have endured the abuse she suffered in a situation that most people would expect to be a nurturing and supportive one. She is also a very determined and persistent person, who has methodically worked on her problems to the best of her abilities.

Sister X was also very brave to share her issues in front of the workshop group. She estimated her Subjective Units of Distress Scale (SUDS) level for her remaining issues was at a level 4 and reported she had not been able reduce her SUDS below that level despite all of her efforts. In about 20 minutes' work with WHEE she was able to reduce her anxieties to zero and install a positive reframing of her situation to replace the negatives she had released.

While this rapid transformation may seem hard to believe, it is quite common with WHEE.

Blessings

Dan Benor